Decisions Decisions Decisions.

OKAY! I am back! It has been a good 20 months since I have posted... well anything. I'll give you a quick update on my life, then back into the topic.

So, since my last blog post I have had a lot of 'firsts'. I graduated high school with my preferred OP score (yes!), became an official adult(you can only do the once apparently), got my drivers license, made friends, lost friends, had my first love and my first heartbreak(you know like romantically anyway), went further Northward in Australia and that's about all I can think of at the moment. With the whole graduation thing though, came University.

I am now in my second semester at uni and my second degree. This is where all the decisions come into effect, I am flustered with the whole not knowing what to do with my life. I am flustered that time won't stop for me to decide. I am flustered that I am wasting time. And it bothers me that I am not the only one in this situation and that kids/adults(whatever) feel like we are forced(you kind of are) to do something with our lives but we don't know what. We don't want to end up miserable our whole lives because we've made the wrong decisions but we also don't want to put off and be unable to provide for ourselves. There seems to be no upsides.

When people ask me what I want to do with my life, it is simple. I want to travel/adventure, I want to be free, I want to love and be loved (family, friends, partners, etc.), I want to have fun and be happy. Pretty much the same as everybody else but that leaves little to be desired in the whole career aspect thing, so we do whatever we can so we can at least have our interest be held in the slightest by something or be able to support what we really want to do.

I originally decided I wanted to be a doctor
a) It'd be interesting. I'd know everything about how the body worked and I could fix people. It would be a valuable and worthwhile job. It's a job you can apply to yourself.
b) I would definitely not complain about the income.
So I applied and got accepted. I hated it. Now I am not sure if it was the whole 'New Scenery' or having to make friends that did it for me or the course itself but that doesn't really matter now. I found that;
a) The degree focused more on theoretical physics and chemistry than practical biology
b) The classes were dry and unrelated to the end career
c) I didn't want to waste my time doing something that wasn't interesting because the end job was interesting. The whole thing had to be interesting.
d) There seemed to be an attitude among the students that they were better than other simply because of the degree they were doing. Now as a sidenote, not to be cocky or anything, I did a lot better in comparison to other kids in my course and I switched out because it was bland not because they were better than me in anyway. So I think it is wrong how they place their degree over others because you may find there are actually plenty of intelligent people doing an Arts degree (everyone makes fun of this degree) because they don't know what to do with their lives. And I simply hate snobs.

I spent six months in this course and I switched into a Psychology degree. I don't know if I'll see this degree through to the end but at least if I do turn out to be wasting my time, I am wasting it on something I find extremely interesting. And if I do see it through at least I can become a Psychologist or a research or whatever and do something I find interesting and earn money from whilst I continue to work out what I ultimately want to do.

I think people have got to stop putting so much pressure on their careers and just do things they find interesting until they find the right fit. Too many people jump on the degree bandwagon for the end job and only think about the money, not their own enjoyment and happiness. Nothing should come before the happiness of yourself (cats may be an exception).

And to wrap this all up and end it. We need to stop worrying about all these decisions, go with the flow, do what makes you happy and remember in the end nothing really matters because we all have the same conclusion and nothing we do can screw that up.

Becoming A Senior at School.

"OMFG! I can't wait for this year to be over! Then we'll be free!"

No. Shut up. This is going to sound super nerdy (or whatever the hell you want to call it) but I am not excited to be finishing school, if anything, I'm frightened. You always hear those kids in your grade who are like, "Oh, I can't wait to get out of this sh*thole bro," well, no, it's not a "sh*thole" it where you're getting your education, where, well let's face it, you're pretty much sheltered from scrutiny by the outside world and if anything you should be making the most of every opportunity you have there, otherwise you'll still be talking like that when you're a grandparent at 30 (Yeah, I went there). But seriously, we've/you've spent two-thirds of your life in grade school (1-12) and closer to eight-ninths of your life in education in general (kindy-12), and because we know nothing other than school, to those who realise what is actually happening, it's quite frightening.

So, tomorrow is the first day of my last year at high school (Grade 12 in Australia), and I am worried, it feels like it's your last chance to prove yourself before university. Now, I understand you're sitting there like,"What the hell is this girl on about, she should be excited about finishing school, freaking nerd." Okay, well yes, I am excited about finishing school, what I am not excited about is getting thrust out into the wild (metaphorically not literally), not knowing how everything works and having to readjust yourself to a 'new world' with new people and having to start at the bottom of the food chain all over again. You know what I mean? In primary school(P-3) you're like the bees knees in Grade 3, then you move up to Junior(4-6) and you're the little fish again working you're way up to grade 6 to re-rule, then it's a whole change of scenery, swept across to the senior campus to start Middle(7-9) School, then on to Senior(10-12) school where it's a pretty gradual build-up... then, BAM! Senior((Grade 12) To answer confusion, our school has two seniors(?) I guess you could say the Seniors of the Senior School(Grade 10-12) and the school's Senior's(meaning just Grade 12-the graduating class)). So, now we're basically the sharks of our school, wait, no, whales(they're bigger) of our school, we've done the twelve years, gone through all the different stages, then, done. And, what I guess i'm trying to say is, is that it's scary. Noone tells, you that finishing school is scary and school always seemed like an enforced sort of thing to most people but if you think about it... it's kind of a sanctuary until you're old enough to be in the 'real world' (kind of like the opposite of the Hunger Games- if you know what I mean).

I think what I'm also trying to say is, is that don't be in such a rush to finish school, take it slow, have fun, don't be afraid of what others think, cherish your friends and all that. Most people don't say it but when you leave school, you also leave behind a lot of the people you called friends, go ask your parents, ask them, if they had friends in high school who they never talked to again after graduating. There we go. You got me. Yeah, I'm afraid I'll lose touch with my friends after graduating but I guess it's up to me to stop that. And (here comes some nerdiness) I guess, you don't actually realise it but I think I will actually miss the teachers, the office lady who always smiles and asks, "Late again?", the teacher's who show you pictures of their drunk shenangins, the principal whose speech goes on for what feels like hours but really it's just 15 minutes, everything you don't think you'll miss but as your time at grade school closes to end you realise, that those tiny things you smile about are the very things you'll miss most when you graduate.

So, here's to the year before us. I wish us the best in our academic, work and social lives. I hope we all cherish these years we've spent together at grade school and continue our memories on into our university years. 

Yes, I am scared for tomorrow and the rest of the year to come but I'm also super excited. And trust me, there will be more of these, and definitely a super emotional blog-post just like this at the end of the year. ;)

But for now, wish me luck and I for you. 

Ps. That was super dooper cheesy.

Pps. I was hesitant of publishing this, I'm not too sure why... but then I thought what the heck, why not?

Welcome to my Blog!

Welcome to my Blog! My name's Rachael and I'm just going to come right out and say it, HELLO! I'm Not quite sure what this blog will be about... but I can assure the posts will definitely be about something(sometimes pointless things like this one...but hey they'll get better!) Now enjoy the contents of this blog. Now go forth into the distance with this blog in your heart and soul to keep you whole.
Seeya later,

Rachael